You may want to skip this 'post'. It might be a little windy but I wanted to reflect on what the last seven years have been like for me as a mom. First of all....the guilt!!!! Oh how I gave my own mom so much grief. All I can say is that you live and learn trusting that one day your kids will know how much you truly love them and want nothing but the very BEST for them.
I think back to when we moved back to our home town; still newly married with this tiny baby. Trying to figure out how to balance work, family, finances etc. How much love I had for this sweet baby girl but how incredibly tired I was. I figured I would take on being a mom- like a champ! I mean I had babysat my whole life, was a teacher aid, taught pre-school, was a nanny....and so on. The title of MOM brings a different level of love and responsibility that is too great to imagine.
How I loved having my parents; and mainly my mom near by. When I needed a little break, a trusted person to leave my baby with, when discouraged and feeling like I was doing a 'bad' job...someone to tell you that it is normal to feel this way...your doing great! I remember thinking running errands was so difficult because you had to get this other little person in and out of the car, make sure you had all the right gear....a real chore. (worth it...but a chore nonetheless).
I could not wait for first steps, first words....OHHHH especially MOMMA...I could not imagine someone giving me that title.
Second baby comes along...it's a boy! I was thrilled! I was raised with a sister...only man around was my sweet daddy...(and how wonderful he is, is a whole different chapter)but no brothers....so WOW is what I have to say about a boy. I think Will had and still has so many laughs because I am shocked almost daily by something my boys do..(another boy comes along in a minute)Boys...are so different from girls. So now life with two....not so bad. I know what to expect...it is just a matter of routine to survive. I have been so spontaneous my whole life...but kids....WOW again. I got on a schedule really quick. As much as I love my children, I really needed them to nap at the same time....I had to have a break in my day to recharge.
Then our beautiful gift...baby number 3....It's a boy! I remember that I was so excited in a way to have three kids because I only had two kids in my family. I also remember feeling overwhelmed! Routine, schedule...Ha! I was trying to survive....It is tricky too....because when we first brought the third one home, it wasn't so bad. I was like " I can do this! It is no big deal" well....it's not really a big deal until they can MOVE! That is when my life was chaos...Three kids three and under all moving....HELP! We also moved (several times, but this time out of state) far away from my family that was just a simple drive away. Will and I forced to work life out truly on our own. Funny that by our third child...we wanted to 'push' him down when he started walking because we knew what that would mean for the next several months, all those mile stones we couldn't wait for in our first child, all the sudden we realized how fast it would go.
Now we have three kids, none of them babies. All 'baby' milestones passed; no bottles, no diapers, everyone can walk, talk, & say 'mom' (funny how some days I wish none of them could say that....all the mom's of older kids know exactly what I am talking about) but how at the same time being grateful that every night I have three kids I get to tuck into bed. How tears feel my eyes because all those 'annoying' people who said 'enjoy these times they will go by so fast'.....it was 'annoying' at the time because I was sleep deprived and I had forgotten what sleep was. I wanted it to go by FAST. They were right...as my kids get older our years fly by. Life is still crazy and chaotic but thats just it....it's Life. I love the memories I have with each of our kids. I love how different each of our kids are....their passions, interest, gifts, temperment, etc.
My prayer is that on the days I feel overwhelmed, defeated, out numbered, that I can read back on this post and 'Remember When'....
I think back to when we moved back to our home town; still newly married with this tiny baby. Trying to figure out how to balance work, family, finances etc. How much love I had for this sweet baby girl but how incredibly tired I was. I figured I would take on being a mom- like a champ! I mean I had babysat my whole life, was a teacher aid, taught pre-school, was a nanny....and so on. The title of MOM brings a different level of love and responsibility that is too great to imagine.
How I loved having my parents; and mainly my mom near by. When I needed a little break, a trusted person to leave my baby with, when discouraged and feeling like I was doing a 'bad' job...someone to tell you that it is normal to feel this way...your doing great! I remember thinking running errands was so difficult because you had to get this other little person in and out of the car, make sure you had all the right gear....a real chore. (worth it...but a chore nonetheless).
I could not wait for first steps, first words....OHHHH especially MOMMA...I could not imagine someone giving me that title.
Second baby comes along...it's a boy! I was thrilled! I was raised with a sister...only man around was my sweet daddy...(and how wonderful he is, is a whole different chapter)but no brothers....so WOW is what I have to say about a boy. I think Will had and still has so many laughs because I am shocked almost daily by something my boys do..(another boy comes along in a minute)Boys...are so different from girls. So now life with two....not so bad. I know what to expect...it is just a matter of routine to survive. I have been so spontaneous my whole life...but kids....WOW again. I got on a schedule really quick. As much as I love my children, I really needed them to nap at the same time....I had to have a break in my day to recharge.
Then our beautiful gift...baby number 3....It's a boy! I remember that I was so excited in a way to have three kids because I only had two kids in my family. I also remember feeling overwhelmed! Routine, schedule...Ha! I was trying to survive....It is tricky too....because when we first brought the third one home, it wasn't so bad. I was like " I can do this! It is no big deal" well....it's not really a big deal until they can MOVE! That is when my life was chaos...Three kids three and under all moving....HELP! We also moved (several times, but this time out of state) far away from my family that was just a simple drive away. Will and I forced to work life out truly on our own. Funny that by our third child...we wanted to 'push' him down when he started walking because we knew what that would mean for the next several months, all those mile stones we couldn't wait for in our first child, all the sudden we realized how fast it would go.
Now we have three kids, none of them babies. All 'baby' milestones passed; no bottles, no diapers, everyone can walk, talk, & say 'mom' (funny how some days I wish none of them could say that....all the mom's of older kids know exactly what I am talking about) but how at the same time being grateful that every night I have three kids I get to tuck into bed. How tears feel my eyes because all those 'annoying' people who said 'enjoy these times they will go by so fast'.....it was 'annoying' at the time because I was sleep deprived and I had forgotten what sleep was. I wanted it to go by FAST. They were right...as my kids get older our years fly by. Life is still crazy and chaotic but thats just it....it's Life. I love the memories I have with each of our kids. I love how different each of our kids are....their passions, interest, gifts, temperment, etc.
My prayer is that on the days I feel overwhelmed, defeated, out numbered, that I can read back on this post and 'Remember When'....
0 comments:
Post a Comment